Woah...I'm 19!

hey my sexy bunnies!

{this post will be very personal and very boring...just a heads up!}

I hope y'all are doing great~! I'm absolutely wonderful if you minus the fatigue, the hunger, and the discomfort of doing nothing and sitting in bed all day. :P

But if you guys can guess from the title of this post...ready for it? 

I'M FINALLY 19 YEARS YOUNGGG!!

Yup! 19 years ago, I was born on the lovely summer day of July 13th. 

19 to me...is such an awkward number and really an awkward age. You finally passed the big 18, but you still aren't old enough to be considered an "adult" adult. Yeesh...plus guys...this is the last year I'll ever be a teenager. Man...I'm getting old. 

But anyway, happy birthday to me! //throws confetti

Today, I just really wanted to make blog post about my life so far. It's going to get personal and probably a lot boring, so you guys don't have to read it. This post is for myself. {But if you do read it...I hope you guys get something out of my life experiences. Or not...it's fine}

Congratulations to those who decided to actually read about my boring life. I applaud you. And give you a ginormous cyber hug! //squeezes 

When I look back at my life, it's hard to imagine how I ended up to be the person that's typing up this blog post today. 

I never imagined myself to be blogging. Especially blogging about beauty of all things because if you guys didn't know...I suck at putting on makeup and I don't know how to describe colors or how they feel on my face. I've literally only started wearing makeup my senior year of high school, so I've only been messing around with makeup for less than 2 years. 

But I really love it. 

I never expected to fall in love with inanimate objects that society sells to imply you have to buy it to be beautiful like those actresses on screen. I never expected to fall in love with a community of beautiful strangers who are so keen on helping and supporting you through thick and thin. I never expected to fall in love with something that I can't even do properly because I'm either too lazy or too busy. But I did. And I couldn't have been happier. 

Like seriously. I couldn't have been any happier with my life right now.

I'm in my dream college learning topics I never thought possible, I have the most supporting friends both online and offline, I have a roof over my head and a loving, intelligent family that's 100% there for me 25/7. And I'm happy with my life. I'm satisfied with my life. 

I sometimes joke around with my friends saying that if I died right now, I'd die happy. And that's completely true. {not to be morbid or anything...no worries I won't be leaving you guys any time soon ;)} But I've gotten to a point in my life where being happy isn't a chore, but rather something that's just naturally there. 

Growing up, I lived in a sort of asian household where I was the littlest princess, being the youngest in my family. My older brother was a pure genius {huehuehue :D}, and my sister was a hard worker {hey sistaaa from the same mistaaa}, and me? I was...just floating. I definitely wouldn't consider myself having the same intelligent brain as theirs. I mean...whenever I mention my older brother getting his Masters at his awesome possum university or my older sister going to dentistry school, everyone get's so impressed with a 'wow' look on their face. And when I mention my university, they literally just stare blankly at me or fake a smile. {I wouldn't blame them though...no one knows my tiny tiny university...for now anyway ;)} 

You see...my parents {my mom especially :P}, have something to gossip about when it comes to my brother and sister because they're...pretty much set with their lives and they know what they want for the future. But as for me? They can't really say much because I didn't do anything remarkable in my life and I have absolutely NO clue what my future holds for me. 

I haven't found a school subject that I'm good at and that I love nor do I have a talent in my small head of mine that I can pursue. 

I used to be envious of my siblings because I felt they had everything easy for them. I could never compete on their level. Sometimes I even felt like my mom gave up on me because she already had 2 successful and smart children. {but no worries, I don't feel like that anymore, that was so 3 years ago :P} I sometimes wish I could wake up and just become a genius or wake up and become talented at a school subject. But of course, that never happened. I'm still wake up to the same old empty minded, quiet self. 

But I finally accepted after 19 years...I'm completely okay with that.

I learned to stop caring what other people thought of me and instead focus on what I think of myself. Who cares if my parents don't have anything to brag about me? Who cares if people think I'm too quiet, or too shy? Who cares if people judge me for my looks or personality? Seriously...like who the heck cares???

You know, once I got past that obstacle {which is actually really really hard}, I think my mindset started going in the right direction. I started to do things I wouldn't normally do. I mean...my next year in college I'm part of the Executive Council as my Uni's Secretary for peeps sake~! {I mean..guys...I had to make a speech in front of people...because I wanted to!} I created this blog and put myself out there. I rediscovered the things I loved even though I discarded it because it wouldn't do any good for me in the future~ {even if it means sitting in front of a computer all day huehuehue} 

I guess that explains why I'm 100% happy with my life and myself after all these years. I had difficulties like many of you. {I mean...I was, still am, a teenage girl of course} But sometimes...you just have to focus on yourself and then all the little problems you thought were important will eventually just go away.

I don't know what's going to happen in my future. I have no big plans, no job in mind, and absolutely no clue what to pursue.

But...I'm happy in this moment.

So I know my future will be very bright!

 

To whoever ended up reading all of this nonsense:

I love you guys.

I love my life.

I love being born!

But anyway...I have to go and do some chores now. 

Until next time,